It's really been forever since I just used my blog as an online diary.
Whew baby 2023 has been a year for me... from losing relationships that I thought were meaningful, to getting a new job and car... it has been a rollercoaster ride. One thing I can say, though, is that my mental health has been in the healthiest place it has been in forever. I'm honestly so thankful and blessed for that. In 2020 and 2021, I was involuntarily admitted to psychiatric wards, the second trip was at a facility right outside of Atlanta called Summitridge - that place was truly terrible. From the catty nurses (mind you, I was already going through a crisis) to the blood stained walls in my room, the 3-in-one body wash/shampoo/conditioner that they give you, the ridiculous activities that make you feel like a toddler, the slick sexual comment I got from a male worker, the eye opening comment one of the homeless people said to me, the wonderful friends I made, the beautiful young women who felt comfortable expressing their trauma to me, the dismissive doctors that just want to prescribe you unneeded medication - the whole health industry, ESPECIALLY mental health, needs some serious evaluation. That whole experience truly changed the trajectory of my life and I truly feel that it is in the most positive ways. I am so thankful to have experienced that, because during that dark time, God planted seeds in me that are manifesting in my real life right now. My relationship with God grew stronger than ever. I will never feel like I'm going through anything alone, because I'm not. I feel his presence in and around me daily. I feel protected and covered at all times and I truly understand why I had to experience what I did.
I get so many accolades and praises for what I do at work, and while that makes me feel good because I unfortunately struggle with imposter syndrome sometimes (I feel like I'm coming out of it at this point), I also sometimes feel like people say positive things to just keep me and make me happy. I've expressed this to my friends and colleagues who I trust, and they all say to accept the compliments - but if you know how it is to want perfection, you know my struggle. I think that's just the Virgo in me... pair that with my Capricorn moon and that's a recipe for a workaholic perfectionist. I just want any and everything I'm attached to, to be great. In 2024, I'm praying for continued elevation and success. I'm making beautiful connections and it's all making sense now.
I just wanted to update my readers on what's been up with me. 2024 is going to be a very busy year for me, but I really plan to work on my time management so I have time to really tend to my blog. I feel most comfortable sharing my life updates here. I also deleted my Instagram, and I may keep it deleted until my birthday or whenever I just wake up and decide to reactivate it. I got tired of being stalked and just the feeling of being monitored was really getting to me - unnecessary added stress. The things I've endured in my love life have been crazy, but I forgive myself and the people who traumatized me. Everyone has their own battles to fight and this life isn't easy. With that being said, I've been single since 2018, and I'm finally coming to a point where I'm ready for love again. I'm ready to open my heart and allow someone in. I'm also ready for more friendships specifically with likeminded women. I want accountability partners, I want women who have goals and visions around me - not ones who sit up and talk about men all day and night. I'm just ready for my community, my true soul tribe.. and I feel it coming together.
I'll end it here. If you're reading this and made it this far, I want to thank you for taking time out of your day to know more about me. I hope you have a great close to 2023 and Happy New Year! Here's to a year of success, growth, and more love 💋
